About

Welcome to dontbelikethat stella.com and .co.uk

My name is Stella“ Mandela” Edwards because I a little bit right on…. And a little bit mouthy….. And a little bit crazy…. lol
When I originally wrote this Nelson Mandela was still alive.

I feel I have to explain that I was given this nickname at school because it rhymed
with my Christian name and it just stuck. When I got older and realised who Mr Mandela was,
I was honoured to be given the name of such a great man.

I aspire to be the best woman, daughter, carer, I can be…. I do my best and that is all I can do! I hope to inspire other potential carers, to take the plunge and look after their loved ones. I want the carers and the cared for, voices to be heard. I don’t want mistakes and incompetency’s to be swept under the carpet, but to be constructively dealt with, investigated and lessons learnt and not repeated.

Policies and legislative matters, need to be properly thought out and the people, who are
going to be affected should be included in these matters, when decisions are being made.
Retrospective, excuses are not acceptable as nobody wants to be thought of, as an after thought! Accountability, is moving in the right direction after the Francis report and the failures of Mid Staffordshire.

I want to see a proactive, not reactive NHS Framework, with healthy communication and partnership working, instead of the blame culture, which still exists now. Where everyone else think, the other department is dealing with the problem and its not their responsibility. Passing the buck!

They say life begins at forty and I’m a full time carer of my dad, Samuel “Troublesome, Jamaican, Toad” Edwards. No Mother Theresa I ain’t. Slightly, Cookie, and a little bit loud, ok may be very loud….. Ok, I am loud and proud and a little bit mouthy, and I love the banter.

But, my heart is in the right place, and I’m a good British Jamaican daughter,
and I’m proud to do the right thing! Which is look after my father, he has
Alzheimer’s in Dementia and a few other ailments.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Alzheimer%27s+disease
Alzheimer’s disease
A progressive, degenerative disease of the brain, commonly affecting the elderly, and associated with the development of amyloid plaques in the cerebral cortex. It is characterized by confusion, disorientation, memory failure, speech disturbances, and eventual dementia. The cause is unknown. Alzheimer’s disease is named for its identifier, German psychiatrist Alois Alzheimer (1864-1915

The inspiration of the website, and soon to come book, t-shirt and everything
else that spurns from the idea! My dad’s favourite saying don’t be like that
stella! He is my best mate and migraine all rolled into one! He is the biggest
joker and has moments of genius and shear lunacy! It’s a roller coaster ride, the
hardest gig I’ve ever done, but the most rewarding job I’ve ever done in my
whole life.

I come from a Christian background, and was brought up to believe in the bible.
We went to church as a family and cared for our community. My parents, were
good people, always helping and putting themselves out for others, mum was a
Midwife and dad worked in a factory. I can’t forget their kindness, nor those
foundations and I believe it’s for that reason, I’m doing what I’m doing now. This
coupled with having a good relationship with my parents, which has allowed me
to get on with this caring malarkey.

I understand that being a full time carer isn’t for everyone! Im lucky that I like
my dad and get on with him. I don’t have any children, so its easier for me to do
what Im doing. My parents were all right, they didn’t buy the parenting
handbook, but who did, but they didn’t do a bad job.

When you’re dreaming of your future as a youngster, you don’t have a set time-
table carved out for caring responsibilities. These come as a shock, to us all.
They come in all shapes and sizes. And can happen, when it happens and at any
time. For me, I looked after my mother as a child, when she was recovering
from illnesses, throughout her life. And now again as an adult, im looking after
my dad. Seriously, I never ever thought that I would be doing this. Never
envisioned that it would be me. I think my point is it could be any off us at any
time in our lives.

http://www.carersuk.org/newsroom/stats-and-facts
Statistics and facts about carers
1 in 8 adults (around 6.5 million people) are carers.
•By 2037, it’s anticipated that the number of carers will increase to 9 million
•Every day another 6,000 people take on a caring responsibility – that equals over 2 million people each year.
•58% of carers are women and 42% are men
•Over 1 million people care for more than one person

Carers save the economy £119 billion per year, an average of £18,473 per carer
•Over 3 million people juggle care with work, however the significant demands of caring mean that 1 in 5 carers are forced to give up work altogether.
•The main carer’s benefit is £59.75 for a minimum of 35 hours, equivalent to £1.71 per hour – far short of the national minimum wage of £6.19 per hour

People providing high levels of care are twice as likely to be permanently sick or disabled
•625,000 people suffer mental and physical ill health as a direct consequence of the stress and physical demands of caring.
•Over 1.3 million people provide over 50 hours of care per week

The important thing is to not compare yourselves to other people. The situation
your in is unique to you and your loved one. What works for my dad and me,
may not be right for you and your loved one. I’m by myself and all the day to
day caring responsibility is on my shoulders. But, I don’t feel alone, as I have
some nice friends and family. But, I have a new surrogate family that are better
than my own family. The unsung heros, the angels who help make it all happen,
our carer’s, our pa’s. These extraordinary people, allow us to live our lives the
best way we can. They give a us a sense of normality and dignity and
professionalism and friendship.